My WordPress Blog
This recent pandemic has turned our world upside down in a flash! Minds are racing with worry and anticipation….Will I get sick? Will I lose my job? Is the world going to survive this? Top this off with the stress of isolation, homeschooling, and working from home, and we could have a mental health crisis […]
This recent pandemic has turned our world upside down in a flash!
Minds are racing with worry and anticipation….Will I get sick? Will I lose my job? Is the world going to survive this?
Top this off with the stress of isolation, homeschooling, and working from home, and we could have a mental health crisis on our hands next.
Online therapy is here, it’s effective, and it is something that could help you and your family right away.
Here are some common questions we get about online therapy and how it can support you in these difficult times.
WHAT IS ONLINE THERAPY?
Online therapy (also considered part of telehealth) is counseling that is provided face to face over a secure video conferencing platform. Phone calls are also a form of telehealth counseling that may be an option for people without access to a video system, or who would prefer telephone over video conferencing.
HOW DOES ONLINE THERAPY WORK & IS IT SECURE?
Online therapy functions the same as in person counseling, where the therapist and client meet privately and have a counseling session. Some things may be done differently as a result of being in separate locations, but adjustments are made to make the therapy equally effective. You don’t have to download any special software. The therapist initiates all of the calls and procedures and will walk you through the process.
We use a secure video platform, sessions are never recorded or saved, and all the same ethics and HIPAA rules apply for your protection.
HOW CAN ONLINE THERAPY HELP & WILL MY INSURANCE COVER IT?
Although it may be challenging to find private space at home for a session right now, we can help you get creative and we are also offering a variety of hours to make it work.
To make an appointment or ask any questions, you may email us through our website or call the office at 715-441-1828.
People often think purpose already exists or must be found. However, more often purpose is given. One effective way people cope with loss, trauma, illness, any sort of struggle really, is to give it purpose. I’m sure you have seen many examples of this. This is where so many organizations come from, when people turn […]
People often think purpose already exists or must be found. However, more often purpose is given.
One effective way people cope with loss, trauma, illness, any sort of struggle really, is to give it purpose.
I’m sure you have seen many examples of this. This is where so many organizations come from, when people turn suffering into a mission to help others.
We are in the strangest of times right now in this pandemic. There are a wide variety of reactions to it so far.
Some feel we are overreacting, some feel we are under reacting, some are working feverishly to help protect their patients and communities, some are seeking shelter in their home and quietly praying, and some are fortunate enough to simply enjoy the change of pace that’s been forced upon us. Many of us probably vacillate between all of these.
One thing we can all do right now is think about how to give our current reality and experience a purpose.
There will be a lot of stress and heartache to recover from for our entire planet when this pandemic is finally under control. Right now, before that moment comes, before we get the green light to leave home and we start rushing around trying to catch up and return to “normal,” let’s think about what we want that “normal” to look like, given what we have just experienced.
We have an opportunity here, as a planet, to hit the reset button.
We can all notice what it’s like to slow down, to come back to the collective rather than focus on ourselves, to have time with loved ones without watching the clock, to appreciate what we have and not be wasteful, to remember how we are all connected to each other and this planet in a way that can no longer be denied.
When I watch what is happening with this purpose in mind., I see people supporting each other, I see compassion again. I feel a reminder of how much people matter more than money, more than elections, more than our achievements or whatever else usually distracts us from life. We can see that none of us get anywhere on our own, we are in this life together. Maybe that’s the purpose behind this whole thing, or maybe it’s just the purpose I have given it.
What purpose will you give it? Write it down, hold on tight to it, so you can remind yourself when that rushing river of our culture tries to sweep you away again, that you have the power to choose the purpose of your life.
We have gotten a lot of information in this pandemic about who is physically vulnerable to this virus. We would like to also bring to your attention who is mentally vulnerable to these current conditions of social distancing, isolation, and fear. Let’s face it, we are all vulnerable right now in one way or another, […]
We have gotten a lot of information in this pandemic about who is physically vulnerable to this virus.
We would like to also bring to your attention who is mentally vulnerable to these current conditions of social distancing, isolation, and fear.
Let’s face it, we are all vulnerable right now in one way or another, whether it’s physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially, or all of the above.
It has been great to see communities pulling together to help keep families fed, educated, and connected while we are all doing our best to stay home.
However, being stuck at home for an unknown length of time under stressful circumstances can be quite problematic for a lot of people, especially those who already struggle emotionally, or perhaps do not have a safe home.
If you happen to know anyone that might fit these following conditions, please reach out to them or their families to offer support, connection, or helpful resources, including online counseling.
Here is a short list of just a few people you can consider reaching out to right now:
The best thing we can all do right now is stay connected, whether that’s on the phone, social media, or the many platforms available for video conferencing. It would be especially helpful to get some live face time with people. There are many platforms to help you with this including face time on your phones, Zoom, Google hangouts, Snap Chat, and more.
Online counseling is also an option if you feel you need some help, or you if you are isolated and don’t have anyone to visually connect with. It’s easier and best to establish a connection now, instead of waiting until you are struggling.
If you have any questions about online counseling, feel free to give us a call!
For many, childhood is the most wondrous and exciting time in a person’s life. But even when a child is growing in a loving and stable family environment, they can feel fear and anxiety. Think back on your childhood. Everything new was something to be not-so-sure of. It was easy to feel a bit anxious […]
For many, childhood is the most wondrous and exciting time in a person’s life. But even when a child is growing in a loving and stable family environment, they can feel fear and anxiety.
Think back on your childhood. Everything new was something to be not-so-sure of. It was easy to feel a bit anxious on the first day of school or meeting someone for the first time. A child often feels anxious at bedtime, having to go to the doctor or dentist, or on their first day of summer camp.
When children experience anxiety, they may run away, become very quiet, scream, shake, act silly, cling or have a tantrum to avoid the stressful situation. You may have tried to talk with your child and reason with them in these moments. But this generally doesn’t work.
Brain research suggests that it is extremely difficult for young children to think logically or control their behavior in these anxious moments. They are experiencing real fear and the fight/flight/freeze mode that accompanies it.
Here are 3 science-based ways parents can help their children manage their anxiety so they may regain a sense of safety.
The vagus nerve is located on both sides of the voice box. Studies have shown that stimulating it can interrupt the fight/flight/freeze mode and send a signal to your child’s brain that he or she is not under attack.
Some easy ways to help your child stimulate this nerve are:
Like adults, when children are anxious they tend to take rapid shallow breaths from the chest. Taking slower, deeper breaths from the abdomen sends a signal to their brain that they are safe and can relax.
Older children may be able to follow you as you show them slow breathing exercises. For younger children, there are some playful ways to get them to slow down and control their breathing. You can have them blow bubbles, blow into a pinwheel, imagine your fingers are birthday candles and have them slowly blow them out, teach them to whistle and simply see if they can hold their breath for three seconds as if they were swimming.
Research also suggests that humor can significantly reduce anxiety. Humor has a way of distracting, relaxing muscles and releasing endorphins that combat stress and anxiety.
Try silly knock-knock jokes or word games like “I went on a picnic.” A quick internet search will result in a ton of corny jokes that your youngster will most likely love, so print some out and have them on hand.
Anxiety is a part of life, but if you use these three techniques, you can help your child manage theirs. If you think your child could benefit from speaking to someone, please feel free to be in touch. I’d be more than happy to discuss treatment options.
“God, you can be so stupid sometimes.” “Why would he be attracted to YOU?” “You’re just going to screw this up.” These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds of things all the […]
“God, you can be so stupid sometimes.”
“Why would he be attracted to YOU?”
“You’re just going to screw this up.”
These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds of things all the time.
Most of us treat ourselves far more harshly than we would anyone else. And that’s a shame. In my experience, so much of the depression and anxiety my clients feel stems from a dysfunctional relationship they have with themselves.
But every day is a chance for you to develop a loving relationship with yourself. And the best way to do that is to practice self-compassion.
If that concept seems foreign to you or you are even uncomfortable with the idea of showing yourself compassion, then please keep reading to learn some simple but profound ways you can begin to practice self-compassion as a way to connect lovingly with yourself.
Self-compassion is the pathway to emotional healing. But to begin, you must become more aware of your own emotions, especially as they relate to yourself.
Try to be more aware of when you are emotionally struggling with something. Perhaps you are feeling confused, desperate, or inadequate. Ordinarily, in these moments your inner critic may strike. But now, try and offer yourself kindness instead.
You may say something to yourself life, “I know you’re disappointed. And I also know you did your best. And I am so proud of you.”
If you are at a loss for the right words in these moments, simply talk to yourself as you would a friend, or better yet, a small child.
Until you become used to being compassionate toward yourself, you’ll want to monitor the language you use. You are most likely so used to criticizing yourself that it will be far too easy for the wrong choice of words to come out. That’s okay. In these moments you certainly don’t want to scold yourself. Just be aware and make a compassionate correction.
There’s a phrase that says, “get out of your head and drop into your body.” This is a perfect way to begin the ritual of self-compassion.
Begin to use kind physical gestures with yourself. This could be gently stroking your cheeks and temples when you’re stressed, holding your hand over your heart when you’re sad, or holding your own hand when you feel lonely. Any physical gesture, so long as it’s loving, will help you show yourself true love and kindness in those moments.
For some people who have very low self-esteem, showing themselves compassion may prove to be incredibly difficult. In these cases, it’s a good idea to speak with a therapist who can help them uncover where the feelings stem from and how they can change their thoughts and behavior.
If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to see how I may be able to help.
When we’re young, we’re taught how to share and play well with others. Somehow as adults, these early lessons don’t always translate into building and maintaining loving relationships. But, it’s never too late to learn new life skills, and creating healthy relationships is one of the best skills you can have. The following are the […]
When we’re young, we’re taught how to share and play well with others. Somehow as adults, these early lessons don’t always translate into building and maintaining loving relationships.
But, it’s never too late to learn new life skills, and creating healthy relationships is one of the best skills you can have. The following are the essential relationship elements of a lasting love. If you can master these, you will set yourself up to experience a wonderful relationship for the rest of your life.
Create Trust and Mutual Respect
Even the most loving of relationships is going to be put to the test every once in a while. All couples experience ups and downs and the stress of every day life. The key is to not take that out on each other.
Create a safe environment in your relationship where each of you can speak honestly and freely. Never interrupt or yell or belittle the other person. Should things get too heated, step back, and wait until things cool off.
Don’t Judge
“For better or for worse.” If you’re married, those are the words you agreed to. If you’re not married, you still made a choice to partner with another human being who has flaws and quirks just like you.
It’s important to accept your partner and not judge them too harshly. This doesn’t mean you have to like everything they do, and it doesn’t mean you can’t remind them every once in awhile that they need to scoop the cat litter as well.
But it does mean that you should try and be as compassionate as possible. Compassion is the opposite of judgement and it allows you to be open and fully connect with the ones you love.
Make Time for Each Other
It’s far too easy to get busy and neglect the relationship. Many couples get to the point where they become more like roommates than a romantic couple. Don’t allow this to happen. Be sure to make time each week to check in with each other and reconnect.
Be Responsible for Your Feelings
No one can “fix us” or make us all better. We must heal ourselves from old wounds and scars (and we all have those!). Our partners should be there to support us in becoming whole, but ultimately it is our responsibility to heal, not theirs.
These guidelines can help you and your love stay a positive force in each other’s lives. But let’s face it, sometimes life can come at us and before we know it, the relationship is on the rocks. At times like these, it can be very helpful to speak with a couple’s therapist who can guide you through the rough patch and get you reconnected.
If you and your partner would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Childhood can be a time of great wonder and joy. But for some, childhood is fraught with ugly family or school situations that overwhelm and depress developing psyches. Adults who are having trouble in their lives can often get help by speaking with a trained therapist. But young children can find it difficult and even […]
Childhood can be a time of great wonder and joy. But for some, childhood is fraught with ugly family or school situations that overwhelm and depress developing psyches.
Adults who are having trouble in their lives can often get help by speaking with a trained therapist. But young children can find it difficult and even scary talking to anyone about their intense emotions and deepest fears.
This is where play therapy comes in.
Play therapy is a therapeutic approach that helps juveniles delve into and openly express repressed thoughts or emotions through play. These play sessions typically take place in an environment the child recognizes as safe and comfortable. There are very few rules imposed on the child during these sessions, as this encourages them to freely express themselves without the fear of repercussions.
Children that have witnessed stressful or tragic events in their lives are candidates for play therapy. These events could be something like domestic violence in the home, abuse, experiencing a sudden loss of a loved one, experiencing an illness or serious injury themselves, or any other type of family crisis.
Play therapy has also been shown to help those dealing with social problems such as anxiety or depression, as well as academic struggles such as learning disabilities or attention deficit disorder. And finally, those on the autism spectrum could also profit from play therapy.
A parent will first take part in an interview with the therapist, who will collect some basic info about the child. The therapist will then most likely also conduct an initial interview with the child itself. This will help the therapist assess and determine the right treatment plan moving forward.
During sessions in the playroom, the therapist will ask the child to play with specific toys that will best help him or her to express themselves. Other learning tools such as drawing, painting, music, and/or dance may also be used to facilitate positive behavioral change.
Generally speaking, play therapy sessions occur weekly for an average of 20 weeks, and each of these weekly sessions typically last 30-45 minutes.
Look for therapists that are specially trained in early childhood development, attachment, and the use of play as a form of communication. They should also have a background in cognitive-behavioral, Adlerian, or Gestalt therapy.
In addition to looking for the right training and cognitive tools, you’ll want to find a therapist that both you and your child feel comfortable with. Take some time to get on the phone with each potential therapist and ask some questions. You may also want to meet with them in person to get a sense of their energy and personality.
If you have a child you think may benefit from play therapy and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming. When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. Many […]
No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming.
When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. Many victims also feel an increase in their anxiety and a decrease in their self-esteem. But infidelity doesn’t just affect our emotional health, it also affects our mental health.
In fact, many victims of infidelity experience the same symptoms that are linked to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), becoming totally disoriented and confused as to what has happened to them.
Some of the classic symptoms of PTSD often experienced by those whose partners have cheated on them are:
If you have been the victim of infidelity, then know that you, like a soldier returning from war, have been psychologically injured and you require tender care to set you on the path back to you.
As devastating as it can be to learn that your significant other has betrayed you in such an intimate way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can pick up the pieces of your life and find joy and comfort once again.
Here are some ways you can begin to heal after infidelity:
Don’t fall into the “I should have known…” trap. This is not your fault. Now is the time to be on your own side.
Your emotions will be overwhelming for a little while. You will feel lost, anxious and panicky. When these feelings start to rise, STOP, take a slow deep breath and let it out. Take another one and another one. It is amazing how deep breathing can completely calm us almost instantly. Your breath will become your new best friend.
Remember, you’re not just healing from infidelity, you are healing from the PTSD that the infidelity caused. You will need some professional guidance to help you cope with the symptoms you are currently experiencing.
If you would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey to becoming whole and happy once again.
For many, childhood is a time of wonder and adventure; a time when all needs are met and comfort is merely a whimper away. And yet for others, childhood never feels quite safe or secure. For these people, emotional neglect was something that colored their early years and affects them as adults. Childhood Emotional Neglect […]
For many, childhood is a time of wonder and adventure; a time when all needs are met and comfort is merely a whimper away.
And yet for others, childhood never feels quite safe or secure. For these people, emotional neglect was something that colored their early years and affects them as adults.
Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) is the result of parents not responding enough to the emotional needs of their children. While it is an invisible form of suffering, as opposed to bruises and broken bones, it has lasting ramifications. And adults that have suffered from CEN have no idea that their current world is being created from a place of lack.
There are a couple of specifics that make CEN invisible to the victim:
These adults find themselves creating lives that don’t quite feel right. They may investigate their childhoods, looking for clues, but usually come up with nothing, which can add to their sense of stress and anxiety.
In the end, they feel that something must be innately wrong with them. They take the blame, assuming that they are simply flawed and different from other people who seem to have their acts together.
If you identify with this feeling, here are 5 signs you grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect:
Independence is a good quality to have. But having a deep-seated fear about depending on anyone for anything, never asking for help or support, is not healthy.
When you meet new people and have to tell them about yourself, do you find it difficult? Do you know your strengths and weaknesses? What you like and don’t like? Victims of CEN tend to not know themselves as well as they should.
You spend a lot of time trying to meet other people’s needs and pay little attention to your own. You’re hard on yourself but soft with others.
This can feel different to different people. Maybe you feel an empty sensation in your gut, throat or chest. For some it comes and goes, for others, this feeling is there 24/7 – 365.
When your emotions were ignored as a child, you never learned how to feel them and express them in healthy ways. As an adult, do you find it hard to identify the feelings you feel, let alone express them to others?
If you’ve just had an A-ha moment and think you may have suffered CEN and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. There is hope and you CAN heal from the invisible wounds and start creating the life you were meant to live.
Have you heard the phrase “helicopter parent?” It describes a mother or father that ‘hovers’ around their child 24/7, overseeing their life to keep them from every potential danger, pitfall and mishap. It looks good on paper, but this kind of parenting forgets one important fact of reality: life happens. Adversity happens to all of us. […]
Have you heard the phrase “helicopter parent?” It describes a mother or father that ‘hovers’ around their child 24/7, overseeing their life to keep them from every potential danger, pitfall and mishap. It looks good on paper, but this kind of parenting forgets one important fact of reality: life happens.
Adversity happens to all of us. Those children who engage with adversity in their formative years learn how to handle it well and come up with strategies and solutions. These are the kids that grow up to be resilient, getting right back up when life knocks them down a few pegs.
Here are some ways parents can raise resilient children:
How your child sees the world and their own potential in it directly informs how they make decisions. Teach them a positive and empowering mindset from the beginning. Teach them that failure does not exist, only learning what works and what doesn’t. Failing grades and losing games aren’t the end of the world, though they may feel like it. What really matters is the commitment and effort they put into reaching their goal.
A child will never be able to develop their own coping strategies if someone is there every second making sure they never become hurt or disappointed. Do your best to NOT overprotect your children and give them some space to figure it out all on their own.
Social children who are well connected to others feel a sense of support and resilience. Authentic relationships provide a safe space and a person to talk to about their feelings. Help socialize your child as soon as possible so they can form deep connections on their own as they grow.
All parents want to keep their kids safe, but there comes a point when you’ve got to let go a bit and let them learn HOW to be safe on their own. For instance, one day your child will need to get their driver’s license. You can help that older child be a safe driver by allowing their younger self to ride their bicycle around the neighborhood. This will teach them to pay attention, look both ways, etc.
Instead of focusing on the ‘danger’ or uncomfortableness of a situation, teach your child how to navigate it. For instance, if he or she is going away to summer camp for the first time, brainstorm some ideas of how they can learn to be comfortable away from home. Pack their favorite blanket. Talk to them about calling you at certain times to check in. Teach them how to solve their own problems. This is one of the greatest gifts parents can give.
Resiliency isn’t something that’s automatically handed down to kids; it’s something that must be instilled and molded over time. Planting these seeds now will set your child up for success in their future.