How to Succeed in Couples Therapy

Starting couples therapy can be scary.  Some people worry that going to couples counseling is a sign that something must be very wrong with their relationship. 

It's actually an act of kindness, caring, and respect to your family to ask for support when you need it.  It's not just to help relationships going wrong, it helps the good ones become great!

Couples therapy works best when both partners are motivated to improve their relationship.  Naturally, one partner or both may be uncertain about the relationship and have considered whether it's time to end it.  A couples therapist can be very helpful in these situations as well, walking the couple through their dilemma on whether they would like to work on it together or not. There is also a structured process designed for this called Discernment Counseling, which you can read about in another article.  

Once you have decided that couples therapy is something you'd like to do to improve your relationship, here are a few tips to keep in mind to help you succeed. 

Take CARE:

C: Compassion – Come with compassion for yourself and your partner in this process.

A: Accountability – Be willing to hold yourself accountable in counseling and the relationship, and let the therapist help you hold each other accountable when necessary.

R: Reflection & Respect – Be ready and willing to reflect on yourself, your values, your actions, and your history so you can learn and grow through this experience. Also be respectful toward each other in this process since this takes courage and requires emotional safety to share these deeper parts of yourselves.

E: Expectations & Emotions –Have fair expectations of your partner and of the counseling process to set yourself up for success. It takes some time to build trust and repair hurts, so don’t give up too soon.  Managing emotions in this process can also be difficult given this is one of the most important relationships in your life. We are here to help with strong emotions of course, but also take good care of yourself and feel free to say when you need a break or more support. We are in this together.

If you're ready to get started, contact our office today!