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Online stalking and harassment is becoming more common. According to the Pew Research Center’s 2017 Online Harassment survey, 41% of Americans have been personally subjected to harassing behavior online, and an even larger number (66%) has witnessed these behaviors directed at others. The incredible popularity of social media sites and apps make it all too […]
Online stalking and harassment is becoming more common. According to the Pew Research Center’s 2017 Online Harassment survey, 41% of Americans have been personally subjected to harassing behavior online, and an even larger number (66%) has witnessed these behaviors directed at others.
The incredible popularity of social media sites and apps make it all too easy for people to stalk others online. If you’re being harassed by someone online, you might wonder: are they just a pest, or are you being stalked?
There is some less sincere online pestering that can be shrugged off or ignored. Sometimes name calling or attempts to embarrass you can be stopped by simply reporting the individual’s behavior, blocking them, or both. However, if you feel like it’s more than annoyance and is starting to cross the line, trust your gut. Here are some signs that your online bully is taking things way too far.
Follows Your Social Media
Stalkers will want to watch everything you’re saying and doing online. They might reply to comments, share your tweets, or like your posts. Pay close attention to see if there’s anyone in particular who spends too much time following your every move.
Unwanted Repeated Contact
Someone who’s stalking you may send repeated emails, messages, calls, or texts that are notably more frequent or numerous than what would be normal. This could also include calls that disconnect when you answer or other ways of forcing you to act or respond, whether or not the person explicitly communicates with you during the event. Repeated contact from someone you don’t see or talk to on a regular basis, or who you don’t know very well, is a classic red flag.
Unwanted Gifts
If someone you don’t know well or are not interested in is sending you unwanted flowers or gifts despite the fact you’ve made it clear the gifts and attention are unwanted, this is a sure sign that they’ve developed an unhealthy interest in you.
Finds Your Private Information
Stalkers will be obsessed with finding out more about you, and can find personal information on you by paid searches on the internet or searching public records.
Shows Up in Public Places
If your online pest suspiciously keeps turning up at places you’re going to, this is a very possible sign that you’re being stalked. They could be scrutinizing you or your family or friend’s social media accounts in order to learn where you’re going and what you’re doing.
Threatens You
A stalker may threaten you, your loved ones, your property and/or your pets if you fail to give them the attention or affection they desire. However, even stalkers who do not make any threats or seem to be an obvious sort of danger are, in fact, incredibly dangerous. Because a stalking situation can turn ugly in the blink of an eye and when you least expect it, it’s important to take every stalking situation seriously.
If you feel you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you feel you’re being stalked, don’t communicate with your stalker. Keep all evidence and maintain a log showing the date, time and how you were harassed. Notify police and consider getting a court order to keep the stalker away from you if necessary. Remember, you should always take threats or stalking of any kind seriously; inform authorities as well as your family, loved ones, and anyone else that may be in the stalker’s line of sight so appropriate precautions can be taken.
Are you being stalked or harassed, and need the advice and support of a licensed mental health professional? Call my office today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.
“I do.” Two simple enough words. And when you say them on your wedding day, you really mean them. But “I do” can quickly turn into, “I thought I could” when you don’t know exactly who or what you are committing to. Let’s face it, relationships are tricky and it’s important that you and your partner […]
“I do.” Two simple enough words. And when you say them on your wedding day, you really mean them. But “I do” can quickly turn into, “I thought I could” when you don’t know exactly who or what you are committing to.
Let’s face it, relationships are tricky and it’s important that you and your partner are 100% open and honest with one another before tying the knot. And that’s exactly why premarital counseling is so beneficial.
Premarital counseling helps couples identify and address potential areas of conflict before those issues have a chance to turn into serious problems. Couples also learn effective communication skills and conflict resolution strategies.
Here are some specific benefits of premarital counseling:
Learn More About Each Other
We always think we know our partner until they do or say something that surprises (and irks) us. Premarital counseling is an opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level.
Confront Challenges Head-On
Couples don’t always discuss potential areas of friction at the beginning. And then real life comes at them and arguments happen.
For instance, what do you do if you find out each one of you has a different opinion about how finances should be handled? If one of you wants to home school but the other wants your kid to go to public schools?
Premarital counseling offers couples a space to identify potential challenges head-on.
Make Plans for the Future
The brightest futures are the ones with the best-laid plans. Couples counseling can help you create a clear vision of what you want your future to be. A counselor can help you both discuss your individual goals and dreams and how you can combine these to create a future where both of you reach your potential as individuals, as a couple, and eventually as a family unit.
If you and your partner would be interested in exploring premarital counseling, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDA Week), which takes place during the week of February 21 – 27th, is an annual campaign that aims to educate the public about eating disorders as well as provide hope and support to those affected by eating disorders. How Do We Define Eating Disorders? Eating disorders are patterns of […]
National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDA Week), which takes place during the week of February 21 – 27th, is an annual campaign that aims to educate the public about eating disorders as well as provide hope and support to those affected by eating disorders.
Eating disorders are patterns of behavior that can be characterized by persistent disruptions in the way a person eats. Eating disorders affect up to 5% of the population and typically develop in adolescence and young adulthood. Eating disorders are believed to be a result of chronic stress and/or intense emotions and can become very serious. If not treated, eating disorders can have negative effects on a person’s physical, emotional and psychological well-being.
The most common types of eating disorders include:
People with an eating disorder present with a few common behaviors. This can include things like:
Behaviors related to eating disorders can appear in many people with the same intensity and drive as those suffering from substance addiction.
Eating disorders are often found to co-occur in people who are inflicted with other mental health issues such as mood and anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and alcohol and drug abuse issues. Some evidence does suggest genes may play a role in the development of eating disorders.
Treatment options usually combine psychological and behavioral adaptations along with medical and nutritional education. For instance, a mental health therapist may work with a client using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) while a doctor and/or nutritionist may help that individual understand how purging behaviors and/or malnutrition can negatively impact their health. With the right treatment plan, individuals with eating disorders can regain their emotional and mental health and develop healthy eating habits.
It is believed that 30 million Americans will struggle with an eating disorder in their lifetime. There is a good chance you may know someone who is currently struggling with an eating disorder or has struggled in the past.
To bring awareness to this issue, the NEDA campaign is organizing nationwide walks. To partake and find a walk near you, visit https://www.nedawalk.org/.
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When you think about it, your brain is a pretty important organ. In fact, it’s like the CEO of your body’s corporation. So it’s important you do all you can to keep it healthy and working optimally. When it comes to the health of our brain, diet cannot be overlooked. There are certain foods that […]
When you think about it, your brain is a pretty important organ. In fact, it’s like the CEO of your body’s corporation. So it’s important you do all you can to keep it healthy and working optimally.
When it comes to the health of our brain, diet cannot be overlooked. There are certain foods that are chockfull of nutrients our brains need to be healthy, such as antioxidants, healthy fats, vitamins, and minerals.
If you want your brain to be as healthy as possible, then you’ll want to start eating more of the following brain foods:
Avocados are loaded with monosaturated fat, which is a healthy fat that has been shown to reduce rates of cognitive decline and keep blood sugars nice and steady. And thanks to the vitamin K and folate in avocados, your brain will be protected from blood clots (stroke) and memory loss.
Chocolate lovers rejoice! Dark chocolate is actually very good for your overall health, especially the health of your brain. Dark chocolate is full of powerful antioxidants called flavonols, which also have anti-inflammatory properties. Studies have shown cocoa has the ability to increase cerebral blood flow and cerebral blood oxygenation. In addition, it helps lower blood pressure in your brain and heart.
But before you go out and buy a bag full of Snickers, these health benefits just listed come from dark chocolate, not milk chocolate, which is loaded with extra fat and sugar. A good rule of thumb is the darker the chocolate the healthier it is for you! So look for dark chocolate with at least 70% cocoa to reap these brain benefits
There was a time where eggs were vilified, but new science has proven eggs – yolk and all – are not only healthy but an absolute superfood!
Eggs are an excellent source of several nutrients your brain needs, including vitamins B6 and B12, folate, and choline. Most people don’t get enough choline, and choline is responsible for creating acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood and memory.
If you eat more of these 3 foods every week, your brain will thank you!
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‘The spark’ is a phrase that’s used a lot when it comes to romantic relationships. In fact, you might have felt ‘the spark’ in the beginning of your relationship, and as a result, the early days were very exciting for you and your partner. However, like every other flame, ‘the spark’ needs to be kept […]
‘The spark’ is a phrase that’s used a lot when it comes to romantic relationships. In fact, you might have felt ‘the spark’ in the beginning of your relationship, and as a result, the early days were very exciting for you and your partner. However, like every other flame, ‘the spark’ needs to be kept alive by both partners. When you think of intimacy, you probably imagine physical attraction, and sexual relations, however, intimacy is so much more than that. It encompasses both the physical and the emotional.
At the beginning of your relationship, you just can’t seem to get enough of your partner. You want to see them all the time, and they are constantly on your mind. Naturally, romance blossoms and intimacy is high and effortless.
However, as time goes on, life sort of gets in the way. Routine and the stress of everyday living makes it almost impossible to sustain high levels of intimacy without effort. It takes practice, time and effort to keep intimacy levels high in any relationship.
Here are 5 ways to strengthen the intimacy in your relationship, and keep your flame burning hot.
1. Do exciting things together- As your relationship develops, you are bound to form a routine. However, routines become boring. Shake things up by making an effort to do really exciting things together, such as climbing a mountain, going on a vacation, taking a special class together or going bungee jumping! It will provide a much-needed breath of fresh air in your relationship and help you discover new things about each other.
2. Have deep meaningful conversations– Talk about your relationship, your current lives, plans for the future and your emotional state. Try as much as possible to be vulnerable with your partner and let them see the real you. Lack of communication and bottling up negative emotions can lead to resentment. Explore the things that make your relationship work, and strengthen your commitment to each other. Having a therapist facilitate these conversations can make them really fruitful and rewarding.
3. Be thoughtful – Intimacy isn’t always about the grand gestures. Something as simple as writing your partner a love letter or stocking up on their favorite snack can make them feel incredibly loved and appreciated.
4. Make couple time- It can be really hard to focus on one thing in today’s digital world, and sometimes we unconsciously pay more attention to our gadgets than to our lovers. At least once a week, turn off all electronic devices and participate in an activity you both enjoy. You could watch a movie, cook together or massage each other. This gives you time to enjoy each other and connect on a deeper level.
5. Express gratitude- Every night, before bed, express gratitude for one thing your partner did during the day, no matter how small or random.This will help them feel loved and appreciated.
If you would like to improve intimacy in your relationship and strengthen the bond between you and your partner, please book a relationship therapy session with me.
Our mental health significantly impacts our quality of life, so it makes sense that we would want to do all we can to improve it. This may include things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough quality sleep each night. But there is something else that greatly influences our mental health and that is […]
Our mental health significantly impacts our quality of life, so it makes sense that we would want to do all we can to improve it. This may include things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough quality sleep each night.
But there is something else that greatly influences our mental health and that is a community and a sense of belonging. Human beings are wired for connection. When we feel connected to others, we feel loved and supported. Friends can often help alleviate the stress in our life because our friends are there for us to lean on.
If you have been feeling alone and isolated, here are some ways you can find your own community and begin to connect with others:
What activities and hobbies do you have? You may want to join a book club or take a painting lesson. If you’re athletic or used to playing a sport in school, maybe you could join a local team. You’ll no doubt find it easier to connect with others who enjoy doing the same things you do.
Being of service to others is highly rewarding, and volunteering is also a great way to connect with others who share similar values. What causes do you feel passionate about? What charities do you support? Check out their website or give them a call to see what volunteering opportunities they may have available.
Do you have a particular religion or spiritual practice you connect with? Maybe it’s time to get back to your church or try taking that meditation class you’ve been thinking about. Is there a political cause that speaks to your heart? Helping others reach a meaningful goal can be a great way to find purpose in your own life.
Humans are not meant to be alone. We need to socialize. If you have been feeling down, now’s the time to go out and make some new connections.
And if you’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for some time and could use someone to talk to, please give me a call.
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People within the LGBTQIA+ community share many things in common outside of sexuality and identity. Many seek therapy for things like self-esteem concerns, anxiety, relationship issues, and more. Regardless of the reason, someone from the community might seek counseling, it is important that their therapist will be accepting and supportive. What is LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy? […]
People within the LGBTQIA+ community share many things in common outside of sexuality and identity. Many seek therapy for things like self-esteem concerns, anxiety, relationship issues, and more. Regardless of the reason, someone from the community might seek counseling, it is important that their therapist will be accepting and supportive.
LGBTQIA + Affirmative Therapy was developed to address the unique emotional and mental health needs of members of the LGBTQIA+ community. This therapy describes the acknowledgment and acceptance of an individual’s identity and sexual orientation. Therapists who offer affirmative therapy provide their LGBTQIA + clients a safe space to develop a healthy sense of self and strengthen their voice.
LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy can help someone challenged with mental health issues navigate their life and choices in a more thoughtful and meaningful way. Here are some of the main tenets of LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy:
Safe Spaces
The most important aspect of effective therapy is creating a safe space for the client to explore their emotions and heal any trauma. In LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy, individuals are welcomed without any judgment or preconceived notions.
Finding a True Ally
Once a safe space and genuine trust have been established, an alliance can be fostered where the LGBTQIA+ individual feels they are supported and celebrated.
If you would like to work with a trained LGBTQ + Affirmative therapist, there are several steps you can take to find one:
Make a list of two to three therapists who seem qualified to help you with your unique issues, then feel free to call them to get a sense of their personality. A good therapist will be happy to speak with you to make sure your questions are answered and you feel comfortable moving forward.
If you are experiencing a mental health issue and would like to work with an LGBTQ + Affirmative therapist, please reach out to me. I offer telehealth sessions and am happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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The holidays are right around the corner! And that means many of us will begin losing our minds, patience, and good cheer. Well, can you blame us? The holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year. Between shopping, decorating, and keeping your drunk aunt away from your recently widowed neighbor, it’s enough […]
The holidays are right around the corner! And that means many of us will begin losing our minds, patience, and good cheer. Well, can you blame us? The holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year. Between shopping, decorating, and keeping your drunk aunt away from your recently widowed neighbor, it’s enough to pull your hair out!
If you tend to get a little stressed over the holidays, here are some tips to help you stay cool, calm, and collected.
Nothing and no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try to have “the perfect holidays,” it’s simply not going to happen. Accept imperfections, embrace reality, and just focus on connecting with loved ones.
Most of the people you will come in contact with will be stressed out of their minds as well. And some people feel very sad and depressed around the holidays because of loss and other trauma. Since you can’t know what’s in other people’s hearts and minds, and you can’t control other people’s actions, focus on controlling your own and show kindness. You’ll be surprised how you can completely touch another’s heart and change their attitude with just a smile or thoughtful act.
Often, when we feel stressed, our good habits go right out the window! Why eat healthy when you can shove holiday cake, cookies and pie into your mouth? But unhealthy foods, too much alcohol and not enough sleep will only exacerbate the situation. So be sure to treat yourself well and take care of your health during this time.
If you are having a hard time dealing with stress, it’s a good idea to talk with someone. This could be a friend, family member, clergy, or therapist. Often, just having someone else hear us and validate our feelings can help relieve stress.
If you’d like to speak to someone, please get in touch with me. I’d love to help you de-stress so you and your loved ones can enjoy the holiday season.
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The holidays are often a complex time for many people. On the one hand, there is a sense of joy in the air, while on the other hand, sorrow and grief because of either a loss or dysfunctional family dynamic. The following are some ways you can deal with family trauma around the holidays. Have […]
The holidays are often a complex time for many people. On the one hand, there is a sense of joy in the air, while on the other hand, sorrow and grief because of either a loss or dysfunctional family dynamic.
The following are some ways you can deal with family trauma around the holidays.
It’s important to not isolate over the holidays. Being around loved ones who support and care for you can be a comfort. Having said that, you’ll also want to have a plan that will allow you to get away from crowds and holiday festivities when you feel yourself become triggered or emotional. This may mean you drive separately to an event so you can leave when YOU want and need. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them.
The holidays mean everyone is supposed to ‘put on a good face’ and act merry and jolly, right? No. It’s important to really feel your feelings, not ignore them or pretend they don’t exist. We can only heal from trauma by facing the full extent of our darkness. If you had plans to spend time with loved ones but suddenly feel angry, overwhelmed, anxious or depressed, do not deny these feelings and try to put on a good face so others have a good time. It’s better to gracefully bow out of the plans and be 100% genuine with your feelings.
When we relive our trauma and deal with big emotions, it’s easy to let self-care slip and eat poorly, drink too much and get far too little sleep. Dealing with trauma takes energy and mental clarity, and that will require you to treat your heart, mind, AND body with gentleness and care.
You may also want to speak with someone during this time. A therapist can help you navigate your feelings and offer coping strategies. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please feel free to call or email me.
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Looking for a tip for mental wellness and healthy relationships? Try this one! Slowing Down – “There’s Plenty of Time” Living in a state of stress and fear causes us to rush around, hurry up, get as much done as we can in as little time as possible, until we hit a state of overwhelm […]
Looking for a tip for mental wellness and healthy relationships? Try this one!
Slowing Down – “There’s Plenty of Time”
Living in a state of stress and fear causes us to rush around, hurry up, get as much done as we can in as little time as possible, until we hit a state of overwhelm and shut down completely.
The problem:
An interesting experiment: Slowing Down! Try this for a week and see what happens. You might be surprised.
The purpose:
Cindy Grajkowski, MS Ed.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Owner/Clinical Director of Couples & Family Therapy Center, LLC